8 Mar 2012

Angolia Part 2; 1700 - World War one

Due to the success of the patisserie, and the threat of retribution by hung over monkeys, the colony was secure from further attacks.

Governor Scarlet eventually returned home to Southern France to live out the reminder of his life in polygamy, writing travel guides for the local paper. 

The colony, popular with tourists both human and monkey had much to offer with a stunning beach and a new fabulous casino. Also the equal opportunity employment laws (Angolia prides it’s self on legally being the first country to offer paid employment to monkeys and primates) hired chimpanzees as bartenders and croupiers. 

Sadly due to the success of the many new cocktails and the fabulous wines, the countries history for the next two hundred years was lost as the country stayed in with a hangover. 
A historical reenactor

 At the beginning of the 20th century Angolia emerged from the dark scratching itself and feeling like a chocolate milkshake and some bacon only to discover  that East Africa was vibrant with war between German East Africa, the Portuguese and the British colonies.
Angolia being allied to the British but not really liking them much were left to their own devices. The small Angolian army was too small to enter the field conventionally so they developed hit and run tactics. These tactics usually involved someone running up to a German and hitting him before running off into the jungle.
Captain Hans Sheisshund

In March 15 1916 the German army laid siege to the Angloian capital city of New Noir. This siege was relived when the Mayor of Noir challenged the German commander to a “truth or dare” duel. The Prussian Captain Hans Sheisshund with drew red faced.

There was one more engagement before the end of the war where the Angolian army captured a small German sausage factory. This had little strategic value, but it gave the Angolian military the opportunity to throw around euphemisms about "their access to the best sausage on the continent" also "you haven't been conquered, until you have been conquered by our sausage!". The comments got so bad that there was a plea by Angolia's neighbours to include terrible euphemisms in the Geneva convention.

After the war as a sign of good faith Angolia returned the factory and promised to be a lot more sophisticated in future. 

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