9 Jun 2013

Stag dos

My lady and I have organised a fair bit of the wedding so far; our venue, the photographer, the reception, and I have emailed David Grohl to see if he wants to play at our wedding.  Fingers crossed

We are really on track on the planning side of things, but one thing we can't control or organise is her hen's night and my stag party.

Apparently historians can trace stag do's back to the ancient spartans. Knowing what I do about the
spartan culture I imagine the groom's friends got him drunk enough so he could cope with the idea of being with a woman. Things have certainly changed since then.
All dressed up for a big night on the town.

I have been to several stag do's over the years and organised a fair few as well.  And while I have had several threats of revenge I am confident that everyone that mattered had fun.  When I orgasnise a stag do I have three major rules:
  1. No infidelity
  2. No physical harm
  3. No cosmetic damage that will ruin eventual wedding pictures
Apart from that it is game on.

When I mean no infidelity, I don't mean that the guys are locked up in a farm in South Waikato playing sausagefest monopoly. Oh no there will be strippers, preferably good dancers with a good sense of humour. Even drunken lunatics on a stag do who would fling money at the animated cast from Fantasisa, get bored watching some lazy skinny P addict stroll up and down a stage to Guns n Roses' Paradise City. I don't really understand why some partners freak out about the traditional strip club visit. What in gods names do you think is going to happen? That some tart with the stage name of 'Roxy'  is going to whisk your fiance away from you?  Seriously not going to happen, and if it would then is this the sort of guy that you should marry?

No physical harm means no hospitalisation. But if we are going to be honest he will probably get a slap or two.

A good stag do is just a good night out. For me it starts with a maybe a bbq or a decent meal, and then various activites until the drinking gets serious and the guys get the stag to perform ludicrous and embarrising acts in a crazy costume.

Good clean fun
 I have been to two awful stags nights and they both involved a bunch of guys hanging around at home. One of them involved porn tapes. I tell you there just isn't enough booze in the world to make watching porn with thirty strangers fun.  But while as a stag you should expect your mates to take you to task, it should also be a great night out, and a chance for old mates to reconect.

Anyway I have absolutely no idea what my brother is planning for mine, but as Queen Elizabeth once said "There will be blood"

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