29 Aug 2011

My addiction to So, and Justice!


SOOooooOOoooOOoooooooooooo
Apparently I use the word so too much.  Like totally way too much.
Sorry for channeling the Wyld Stallions there.
I have promised my wiser and classier half I shall refrain from excessive use of the word so.
So.
I was walking with a friend the other day, and we were discussing prospective job opportunities. I mentioned that there was a team leader job for justice but I wasn’t interested.  He responded by saying that I should go for it as it he thought that being a team leader for “JUSTICE!” sounded “AWESOME!”  He cried this out in an imperious tome and raised his fist as well, startling a giggle* of young school girls nearby.
I replied that a team leader for JUSTICE! would be good. But sadly the  position was a team leader at the ministry of Justice, which was, well less good.  The same way some one waxing your devils playground is less good that winning a Bentley, or twenty thousand dollars, or a jam sandwich.

As we talked about it I thought how cool would it be that JUSTICE (you have to write  it like that or you don't get the full effect) had a team leader. 

I thought it would go some thing like this......

(apologies to any DC fans out there. Most of my knowledge of this is based on watching Batman, the brave and the bold)

The setting is the satellite that houses the Justice league. Superman, Batman, Wonder woman, Flash, Aquaman, and the Green lantern sit around a table with their team leader.

Team leader: Good morning team

Team: Good morning!

Batman: I'm Batman!

Team leader: Er yes, yes you are Bruce. So do we accept the minutes from last meeting?

Team except Green Lantern: Yes

Green Lantern: No!

Wonder woman: Oh sweet Hera every time.

 Green Lantern:What?

Superman: It's getting a little old. I mean the first time was funny, but that was seven weeks ago.

 Green Lantern: Fine!

Team leader: OK team settle down. So action points from last meeting please Aquaman?

 Aquaman: HAH! WELL WONDER WOMAN WANTED LOW FAT MILK ADDED TO THE FRIDGE. WHICH WE DID. AMAZING! AND WE ALL AGREED THAT IT WAS ACCEPTABLE TO USE OUR REAL NAMES WHILE IN THE SATELLITE. WHICH IS AWESOME. AND FOR THE END OF YEAR CHRISTMAS OUTING WE AGREED ON A BOWLING NIGHT FOLLOWED BY DRINKS AND DANCING. AMAZING!

Everyone rubs their ears.

Team leader: Um thank you Aquaman

Aquaman: YOU'RE WELCOME!


Team leader: Ok team we had a great week with targets.Flash, you took out the Weather Wizard. Superman you defeated that giant robot of Lex Luther's, and Wonder Woman you got both Doctor Deception and Doctor Poison! Well done!

Superman: Good work Diana

Wonder Woman: Thanks Superman.

Polite applause.

Team Leader: Yes excellent work. However team our numbers are down, and I really need to show the government  that the league is worth the expense.

Wonder Woman: What does that mean?

Team Leader: We-ell. We need to boost the numbers  a little. Maybe look at getting more minor league criminals. like the Flashes Rogues gallery.

Flash: Hey my villains are just as tough as any others.

Green Lantern: Like who?

Flash: Well the Eel, the Shade, The Thinker, he was cool. Ummm the....

Green Lantern:  The Ragdoll?

Flash:  Hey man he was tough.

Green Lantern: Su-ure!

Team leader:  Hey Green Lantern  given your numbers this month I wouldn't go casting aspersions on the Flash if I was you.

Flash: Yeah!

Green Lantern: suck up

Batman: I'm Batman!

Team leader: Yes Bruce. Yes you are. Any way if we have quite finished

Flash: he started it!

Wonder Woman: Oh for Athena's sake.

Team leader: OK OK. look all I am suggesting is that you grab two or three bank robbers. A mugger? perhaps. Not just the big leaguers, like er the Flash's villains

Flash: Thank you. But why all the sudden interest in targets anyway?

Team leader: Good question Flash. Well it's an election year. And as usual the hippies in the opposition are questioning the expense of a giant space station orbiting the earth when we have a shortage of nurses. Thus the aforementioned budget cuts.

Wonder Woman: But Batman paid for this station?

 Batman: I paid. I'm Batman and I paid!

 Team leader: I know. But as you know to keep suspicion away from Bruce's normal identity the government also partly funded the project.  So because it's election year we just have to put on a good show.

Aquaman: CRIKEY!

 Team leader: I know Aquaman. But with the polls being what they are, you don't want to return to amateur operatics do you? Or you Flash, you don't want to go back to DHL.

Flash: no.

 Team leader: So lets get out there, boost our targets and look great. And not mentioning anyone in particular, but lets try not to send anyone to intensive care.

Batman: I'm sorry.

  Team leader: I know Bruce. OK and lets fight crime with a smile. Remember..

Team: At the justice league the customer comes first.

 Team leader:Great! Superman, um can you give me lift to Earth, the teleports out again.





2 comments:

  1. I really feel like the team leader needs to speak to Wonder Woman about her use of religious language in the workplace. It could make some of the other team members uncomfortable, even if Aquaman is comfortable with it.

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  2. This is too good:

    http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/dialectp.cgi?dialect=redneck&url=http%3A%2F%2Fjohnpetterson.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F08%2Fmy-addiction-to-so-and-justice.html%3Fspref%3Dfb

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